Two days from today my I marry my fist born...
A simple marriage is anathema to this city we live on...
As the marriage season dawns India's capital city is replete with weddings that would put Mira Nair's Monsson Wedding to shame.. it is almost as if Delhi's beautiful people come alive.. you are flooded with wedding invitations that look like art pieces and you wonder how many trees were cut to make one such card...and cards cannot come alone: they are accompanied by sweetmeats in boxes that discreetely reveal the state of your bank account... and then comes the task of deciding which ceremony you will attend.. as gone are the days where invited to one only.. and what you will wear as that too is a yardstick to measure your success.
Weddings are no more family affairs where you were guided by the elders and the family priest, and have become social statements.. true that everyone is ready to agree with you when you say that they have become ostentatious displays of wealth, but quick to retort that it cannot be otherwise and that so for many reasons: from the wish of the child to be married to the fear of social stigma..
So planning a simple wedding, where the sanctity of the ceremony and the family traditions are paramount is quite a task, as I discovered in the past few days. My daughter's wedding will held at home and there will be a limited number of people: the ones she wants to have on that very special day!
To achieve this in a city where everyone is judged by appareance has been a herculean task. Trying to explain why there are no cards, no fancy sangeets in hotels or farm houses, no fancy performers, no ostentatious wedding outfits that no one wears again is much harder than one may think. If you say that this is what you beleive in, the answer i :what will people say! You are made to feel unfair to your child, mean and marginal and after a while not fit for Delhi consumption.
But I did survive all and the guest list does not cross 100 and the number of food items on the table 10 and the music will be a dholak played by pwhy staff and the space has been limited to the confines of our home.. and the tone will be set by the family purohit..
But I must confess that I had to give vin to the demands of one side of my family: the project why children who also have the right the celebrate maam's daughter's wedding. They want a party where the main element has to be a D.J and a dance floor.
So one day after the wedding there will be a party in gNagar with a D.J., a dance floor and a coffee machine.
This simple demand made me realise how important it is for people lile us to do the right thing as what we called the poor, will always emulate what we do - good or bad - : to them that is the way to social transformation. The difference is that whereas we dip into our bank accounts or piled up wealth, they borrow at 10% a month from the local money lender.
Think about it....