I write today because I am a liittle perplexed..
When God or whoever else is up there, lands you with a child whom he has put through much emotional and physical pain, a child with both ugly visible and deep seated invisible scars, what does he want you to do..
Ease the physical pain - easily done - deal with the outward problems - easily done too., remove the immediate cause of injury and send them for repair.. and then what next..
Utpal's presence in my home is far larger than I can fathom; it deals not only with the little problems of a little boy, but with larger issues, many concerning me.. It puts to test all that I stand for, and brings into my home something which till date remained out.. It proves that you do not juggle with two worlds without the risk of having them clash in the most unexpected way.. that you do not render lip service without the risk of it finding its way to your heart.. that in matter of so called 'charity', you cannot pontificate without accepting the challenge to act.. when you cannot bask in the kudos without being prepared to vindicate what you stand for in more ways than one
When Utpal lands in your life, you have to go all the way, and all the way is not just a matter of funds and finances and bills paid, but much more.. you enter a one way journey in a land you do not know and cannot imagine.. where you do not know what you may be asked to give up
What was tolerated by those close to you as a twilight years occupation well contained in a slot, suddenly threatens to change things around.. the face that till then sat quietly on a wall frozen in a frame now walks around your home..innocent and trusting.. asking for nothing but needing so much..
I wonder if this is the time when your God and the God of Lesser Ones get together to write a script for you, one you need to play to perfection if you still want to look at yourself in a mirror and not turn away.. a time when you are alone and have to do the right thing, even if the right thing means you having to walk solo..
This is a test of responsibility, one you have to win if you are to retain your self respect and be worthy of the love of others..
So bye bye plans, holidays and all else.. this is a time to prove who you are..to the one who matters..
Note: we are looking for a school for utpal, and we will then need all the support we can get to ensure that his future is secured